The Dentist.

The Dentist.

As the great Jerry Seinfeld was once accused of being, I am an Anti-Dentite. I can't stand the dentist. Not him personally, just the whole poking, drilling, digging, kicking and screaming that goes on while I am there. And after all that, he wants me to open my mouth to take a look at my teeth. (not sure what that means, but I hear people say it and i thought it would be funny here. On we go....) My experience at the dentist yesterday was not so bad. But watching my 13 year old son was. That needle he used was quite large and if he hadn't numbed up the area first, I'm sure my son would still be crying now. All the poking and injecting that was done, my sons face was numb for 6 hours. Then he started in with the drilling. Zzzzz, Zzzzzz. This went on for about 5 mins. Then..."Wow! This cavity is deeper then I thought!" Zzzz, Zzzzzzzzz,. (mixed with grinding and the sound of the drill slowing down at the same time) Much like you see on Monster Garage when somebody is using a grinder on a piece of steel that needs to be broke in two, but the piece of steel is not going to give up very easlily. After he nearly 20 mins. he finishes up the 2 teeth that needed repairs, he says, "OK Kid, see you in a couple of days to finish up those other 3 teeth on the other side of your mouth." My son laughed and said - "ya - right."

Next was my turn. After seeing what happend to him, I knew my own fate. I wanted it to be as quick as possible, so I lay there like a corpse with my head cocked to the side, eyes shut tight, and mouth wide open for his easy access to repair the decreped i'll fated teeth that lie in state in my mouth. First the deadining swabs. (best thing since sliced bread). Then, the 4 ft. long needle. Oh the poking and digging....I can feel it sliding in and out of my cheek, but it didn't hurt. I wanted to feel the outside of my cheek to make sure it wasn't going out the side, but I know the deadining swaps hadn't touched my fingers, so it would have hurt. "lets give that a min. to set in" he says. "Great Idea!" (my last clear words for nearly 6 hours).

Zzzzzz, Zzzzzzzzzzz!!! Uh-oh...here'comes! "ok - open wide and turn your head this way.... farther....farther" God! I would have said get on the other side of me, but I think in my position, you just do what the dentist says. Best if he's as comfortable as possible I think. The last thing I remember is thinking the drill had a dull end on it and it seemed like it was taking for ever. Next thing I know, he pats me on the shoulder and said I did good, and actually thanked me for laying so still. I felt like I had no choice. He's the one with the sharp tools in his hands, right!?

After I left, I noticed that I was having a hard time blinking my right eye. It was numb too! My eye was numb! I couldn't feel it. He really juiced me up good. I got back to work and put my headphones in to jamb out and I couldn't tell if my right earphone was in or not. My ear was numb! The inside of my ear was actually numb too! He really did juice me up good. It was nearly a distinctive line down the center of my head. Left side, normal, right side, no feeling what-so-ever! Now, I have had dental work done before, but never been numbed up like that. I was thanking my dentist all day for making sure I wasn't going to feel anything he was doing to me.

Nearly 6 hours later, my numbness was wearing off (finally), and I could start feeling the pain on the inside of my cheek where he used it as a pin cushin. Holy crap it hurt. I started thinking that there has got to be a way we all could get our dentists back for putting us thru that kind of pain, when I realized I probably already did. Before I went to my appointment, which was at 12 noon, I thought I had better get something to eat before I go. So, I go to Subway and order my usual.

Foot long BMT on wheat with Pepper Jack cheese, and 'the Works'. (lettuce, tomato, pickels, olives, cucumbers, and ONIONS) hahahaha!

Wait a minute....thats probably why my mouth hurts so bad. Crap! I obviously was not his first patient.