What's in a name? Well let me tell ya!

Nicknames are fun to have. Sometimes, people have to do something and their friends give them a nickname for what they did. Here’s a good example…Jason (not his real name, mind you) was on a trip with a bunch of us friends and we all stopped at a little ma-pa restaurant to get some grub. Jason ordered a simple grilled cheese sandwich. He was asked if he wanted that on wheat or rye bread.

He said “White please.”

The girl replied, “we don’t have white. Wheat or rye?”

Jason was beside himself. “You don’t have white bread?”

“No” the 14 year old girl said. “we don’t have white bread. Wheat or rye?”

Jason was pissed. Gary said, “what’s wrong with wheat bread?”

“I don’t like wheat bread” Jason says, and he turns away and walks to the table with everyone else without ordering. And now, he is in a pissy ass mood.

Hey – if a 30 year old guy don’t like wheat bread, the guy don’t like wheat bread. I get it. Hell, I don’t like chocolate and haven’t eaten it since I was like 10! (I know…I’m not human.)

Gary then asks the girl if they serve burgers on wheat or rye only.

“No. We have white buns with seasame seeds on them. Would you like one?”

“No….” Gary says, “Get Mr. White Bread a slice of cheese, stick it on a bun and microwave it for 10 seconds and I’ll give it to him. And yes, I’d like a burger on a bun as well. Thanks!”

She smirks and goes about what she was told. Gary then brings Jason his lunch, and hands it to him saying: “here’s your grilled cheese ‘white bread’!”


Now, I have a nickname I have created, but I didn’t create for the intention of being a nickname for myself. It is more of a description of my birthday that I created similar to Christmas. However, friends have coined it as being my nickname.

Let me explain….

Christmas is an annual holiday that marks the birth of Jesus of Nazareth. Better known as Jesus Christ. The word Christmas is a contraction meaning “Christs Mass.” Christians are raised to try to be “Christ like”. Since I am Christian, I am trying to be “Christ like”. And what better way to be Christ like than to have a day like Christs? So, I have contracted my name “Larry” with “Mass” to get “Larmas”. This self proclaimed ‘holiday’ is celebrated on my birthday, June 16th.

Now keep in mind…I am not, by any means, trying to take anything away from, mock, or degrade the birth of Christ in any way shape or form. (see my disclaimer) I am simply trying to be Christ like and have my own holiday.

I don’t want to leave any religion out of my holiday. So, everyone is invited to celebrate Larmas in anyway they see fit for their own personal happiness and well being.

For those that celebrate Christmas by the exchanging of gifts, this is the rule:
When Christ was born, he got gifts. Now he is gone, everyone exchanges gifts with each other. This will happen with me as well. I get the gifts, and when I die, gifts will be exchanged.

Jews have the festival of lights that lasts for eight days. Eight days! This is insane! It is not fair that the Jews get over a week to celebrate as they see fit on Larmas. So, EVERY ONE gets to do what they want in anyway they see fit for their own personal happiness and well being for eight days!

These days are now defined as the Saturday before the 16th, to the Saturday after the 16th. (the last Saturday is commonly known to slip into Sunday morning nearly every single year – this is just fine, because….it’s Larmas and everything is ok on or around Larmas.)

Simple enough huh? Everyone is included. No matter the race, religion or education, when Larmas comes around, you can celebrate it anyway you see fit for your own personal happiness and well being for eight days.

This holiday falls at the perfect time of the year too. Right in the middle of the traditional Christmas’. This way, those of us in the northern hemisphere of the planet can celebrate a similar holiday in the summertime as the southern hemisphere gets the snow during the holiday. Perfect!

I would like to get this holiday known world wide so everyone benefits, and eventually we all can get a day off work (or 5) for the celebration. So, spread the word of Larmas to your loved ones and friends around the world!

Happy Larmas!