Training

I'm in the market for finding a new job. I applied at this really cool company, but because I don't have a 'Bachelors' degree, I don't qualify. Never mind my 10+ years of OJT and experience. No degree, no job. They were going to pay for my additional training and everything!

So - with that in mind....it reminded me of a memo I once got about a new 'Training' policy I would like to share.

Here it is:





To: All Employees

From: Personnel and Training Dept.

RE: Special High Intensity Training Program

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It is now, and always has been the policy of this company to assure its employees that they are well trained through our Special High Intensity Training program (SHIT). We have given our employees more SHIT than any other company in the United States.

If any employee feels that he or she does not receive enough SHIT on the job, or that he or she could advance to another position by taking on more SHIT, see your supervisor. Our supervisors are specially trained to see that you get all the SHIT you can handle.

Anyone who feels that he or she has not received sufficient SHIT should inform their supervisor so that they can be put at the top of his or her organizations SHIT list.

If you are not interested in enrolling for further training, contact: Head Of Training - Special High Intensity Training. (HOT SHIT).

Or, submit completed forms to this department indicating lectures you wish to attend using the Basic University Lecture List for Special High Intensity Training (BULL SHIT).

All of the above will be administered by or under the supervision of our Director In Personnel – Special High Intensity Training (DIP SHIT).