The '4's

I was in Phoenix last week in the airport waiting to load the plane to come back home. I had just got done eating and having a beer, so I was feeling content. As I sit and wait with everyone else, I start my 'people watch' game. Across from me, a few rows over, is a very attractive, well dressed (business like) women. Approximately 35 yrs old, tall (5'8"+), olive skin tone, dishwater blond, with very nice cleavage she was very proud to discreetly display. On my 1-5 scale, an easy 4. Great eye candy.

All of a sudden, another '4' comes walking right in front of me and sits about 5 seats to the right of me. This '4' was shorter, about 5'5", brunette, brown eyes, olive skin, again - well dressed (business like) woman. This '4' was about 23 yrs old, and the more I looked and listened to her on the phone, the more she was becoming a '5'! She referred to herself as 'Bride-Zilla' on the phone several times, which was a big turn-on for me. This meant she had a great personality and loves to joke around. More great eye candy.

As I boarded the plan in my first class seat (I never fly first class. Not by choice though. This was a flook.) I sat and waited for my two '4's to board for my last peak at the classy women. As they went by, I realized that would most likely be the last time I ever see either of them again, so I take it in.

More than half way thru the flight, I get up to take a leak. As I finish in there, I decide that I better let my fart out while I'm in there. I let it rip. Not a bad one, but I've had better. The aroma is not pleasing at all. Must have been the pork chops and beer from the night before. I vacate and close the door behind me to contain the beast I left in hopes the air flow in there would tame it in a matter of minutes.

Just after I return to my seat, which is just across and back on from the restroom, and start buckling up my seat belt, I see my second '4' (now a '4+') walk past me and up near the cockpit of the plan. This is wonderful! I never thought I would see her again. What a great surprise! As I see her looking around as if she needs something, I glace over to the restroom door and wonder.....then I glance back at her....then she makes her way to the door. Looks at it as if she is looking for some sort of secret passageway and cannot find the candle to pull on to open up the door.

At this point, I still have not got my seat belt on. It has been less than a minute since I left the aroma of my insides in that small, small, small room. Unless the window was open in there, I know it is still finding its way in the pours of the wall.

Finally - after about 5 long seconds of looking for the secret switch, she realizes that if she just pushes on the door, it folds open. Did she see me come out? Does she know I exist? Is she suffering from a congested head cold? All these questions will be answered by just how long she stays in the stink tank. (I laugh to myself thinking...'this is good stuff here!')

I time her. 45 seconds go past. That is just about as long as I can hold my breath. She's better than me already.

90 seconds....

2 minutes! She comes out after 2 minutes! I see the door crack open. She hits her foot with it on the inside or something, but its a fight, I can see it. Finally, the door opens and my '4+' steps out. I don't want to look, but I can't look away. It's like driving by a bad car wreck, you look to see if everyone is ok, but you know you risk seeing something very bad.

She looks up from the floor as she walks out, and makes sure the door closes behind her. (maybe to make sure my insides don't escape). She looks down the plane from where she came from and I watch her eyes the whole way. She can't miss me. I am in a single seat on the aisle. I could nudge her with my shoulder. However, she walks by like I am not even there. Maybe she didn't smell anything. Maybe she made sure the door was closed tight to hide her little secret. I am tempted to get up and go in there to see what she left behind. But I control myself and realize that is just sick. Besides, we started our decent and so I was captive to my seat once again and I never saw either of my '4's again. Sigh.